Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
