oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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