her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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