Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
