I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
