Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
