I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
