You're so nebulous sometimes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
