The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
