Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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