He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize