sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
