Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
