We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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