would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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