Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
so much tequila, so little girl.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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