I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
