So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
