So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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