I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
