pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize