i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We need to get me chipped asap
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
we should paint friendship bongs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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