Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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