For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
