so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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