I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
