Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
