i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize