Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
