and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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