3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We have so much sex to catch up on
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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