Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
