Just mADE A PArabola og urine
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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