I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
