Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
