She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
