You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
