i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
