who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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