So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
