By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
