i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
