is wine microwaveable?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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