I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
