ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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