I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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