if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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