I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
