is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
