I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
