oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I deserve to be covered in dicks
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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