so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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