How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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