His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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