I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
