Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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