At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This toilet bowl is my home.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
