i may or may not be watching the land before time
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
