now i know why i became what i already was.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize