You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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