From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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