You're so nebulous sometimes
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize