Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
