His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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