my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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