When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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